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Research. Complex loneliness.
The complex of loneliness - how it is created and what it leads to.
What is important is not what we do, but why we do it.
What goals and intentions do we pursue in our actions, what do we realize or receive as a result?
Do we really want what we are doing, or is it just our protection from what we don’t want to do or what we are hiding under the shadow of protection.
How about loneliness?
It is worth a little to listen to yourself and a black cloud pops up, closing the horizon for an experienced bird flying into the distance.
Loneliness is strong in its irresistible desire to be alone one more and a little more, and then again alone.
It is so painful and scary to stand near a pillar in the park and watch the snow melting in front of your eyes, it will flow away and revive, and you will not shed tears.
Once upon a time, one person did not bring to you warm milk in his cupped palms, and you still did not know how the weary thoughts of your desired world smell.Dawn does not give wisdom, and every opening of the eyes is accompanied by a search for the unknown in such familiar surroundings.
The preoccupation with the loneliness complex is obvious even for yourself, and your belief in finding the answer to the question “what to do with it?” Is also blind.
Go ahead and hold back the impulse to look at the flower you like or go towards it and inhale the forbidden scent through the metal fence. When you are alone, you really want to share your loneliness with many, and in this quest, you run away from these few without looking back, waving a bouquet of white roses squeezed in a hand whitened with anger.
The more you run, the stronger and stronger the muscles of the complex, the more hungry they will absorb the calories that feed your ego.
The complex grows, you decrease.
Being overwhelmed by the complex of loneliness and you become a great apologist for the enlightenment of your own immature feeling of belonging. The great substantiations of your detachment are supported by the flapping of a wing of a crow flying over the city in a floating fog of hopes.
Are you sure that loneliness is normal.
Well, how normal ... a couple of photos of cats and a vacation in the desert, rafting down a river on team building,reading books about the lives of great people and finding points of contact with loved ones and not very people.
And all this in one life!
Captured captures dreams of a house, captured by a complex dreams of an early dream.
I can’t tell you how difficult it is to admit to myself that everything is very, very bad in my life, I don’t know if I have the strength to recognize and accept it, I don’t even know what today is the day of the week.
The complex created me and I am called to serve him faithfully and recklessly.
- What is there for the mountain?
- There are people.
“Can I be lonely with them just like now?”
- Then I will stay alone.
How can I overcome it all alone and how can I allow someone into my life if I am completely helpless and naively torn to pieces by the ghosts of the past that flow smoothly from my future, pushing the expanses of my life with my cold bony hands.
Just one, here and now.
The complex needs me, just as I need it.
We are made of each other and for each other. We are one.
One day I will run away from him under the cover of a star at the zenith of despair, I will quietly leave the bedroom and leave the door slightly closed so that the light pierces the eyes of the peaceful dormancy of grief with the fury of dawn.I will come out and come to you, and you still, without raising your eyes from your reflection in the mirror, greet me as you did at that time, but without a smile on your face.
It will be a sign that I have changed,you will understand this by your nausea from my deadpan detachment.
I will hug you, just like that, close and warm, and you will stand, not knowing what to do and tears will flow inside you, gathering in thin trickles of bile.
I want to be free from loneliness complex and freedom will come after me in proud solitude.