I keep emotions and feelings
Hello! Advise how to free yourself from the past, to find yourself and your interest in life!
In short: there was a situation of falling in love with the hope of a family and marriage. I was 21, now 26. During this time I managed to grow up as a woman and a person: I learned how to cook, keep house, learned to listen, understand, be grateful, got 2 higher educations, moved to Moscow, organized weddings, now a literary editor. I allow myself big and small travels, was engaged in boxing, postcrossing, I go for holidays, concerts, theaters. But! Due to the fact that my dreams about my family were broken, I started a nervous breakdown, fell into a depression from which I could not get out. I go on dates regularly, like working, I’m interested in men, but I’m finding lots of flaws in everyone. Nothing distracts me, does not carry away, there is no interest in life, there is a complete sense of worthlessness, helplessness and meaninglessness of life. Since nothing is interesting, large volumes of work and employment do not save. Advise how to be.Psychologists, astrologers, meditation, affirmations have already tried. Maybe a fresh look from the outside will help me. Thank you!
Question asked 21.09.2017
"Due to the fact that my dreams about my family were broken, I started a nervous breakdown, became depressed," allow yourself to stop wanting marriage. And let you. Release yourself at will! If you fail to make a strong-willed decision, ask yourself where did this conviction come from. This is clearly someone said, FROM CHILDHOOD, and it is in you as a virus program.
How to get rid of the past and regain the joy of life.
1. Burn out or be angry.
It is very important to allow yourself to fall to the bottom of your disappointment. Fall and die psychologically. Only in this way can we be born again. (A good psychologist can help you get to the bottom of your pain)
On the contrary: an attempt to circumvent the pain of disappointment and escape from psychological death leads to chronic "pain" and chronic "zombie" (lifeless apathy and deep sadness and repressed anger, which are printed in a running line on avoiding the forehead)
pain can never be circumvented, you can only pass through, here often without support or how.
2Pamper yourself with various simple things available in the moment: beautiful, goodies (without excess, and allowing yourself to be bored and after enjoying) a bath, massage, sauna, dancing, gifts
Become a perfect man, or rather even a mom. Mom to herself - that loving one, allowing her everything at the moment of desire, which perhaps never existed.
3. Rehabilitation of their abilities and talents. What can that I can. where I am clever. What a diploma, a cake, a skill, a part of the body — there are my chips (everything fits: make an inventory with a list and hang it in a prominent place, or remake every day) —all where I can flash.
4. The revival of the ability to wonder, admire. And what makes my friend and acquaintance beautiful and talented. Learning to look at what is understandable for the first time and returning with compliments the joy and surprise that one can manage to get inside a person - which is the reason for this. (from the beginning, of course, it will be difficult - it will take an effort and a break through the resistance of the cynical mind)
5. The consolidation of its "Shine".
to commit an insane act - that is scary, any extreme approach, psychological and physical (here I can also help with ideas, write in a personal)
Successes to you and remember, trauma is a huge resource - if you know how to use it for your own evolution.
Answers to question (7)
Invite an expert
The fact that the past affects us is known to all. But the fact that this is only an illusion - not many. And what if we replace the belief that "because of the past, I cannot cope with this life" with the conviction, "my past is a valuable experience, and I accept it as something that moves me forward and let it go right now." Just thank yourself for your development and release the program "I am developing through past sufferings." You can simply let go of awareness, but you can in consultation with the theta-healing technique. Write, this work takes literally an hour and a half, but the effect is long-term. Your soul consists of past, present and future. Only you decide in what time period to live!
Lena, presumably, but I do not claim that you finished building over this period (from 21 to 26 years old) - your own image of a wife worthy of being loved and accepted, with “hope for family and marriage” - as you write. These achievements (I do not detract from them in any way): "I learned how to cook, keep house, learned how to listen, understand, be grateful, I received 2 higher educations,moved to Moscow, organized weddings, now literary editor "- can be defined as some kind of proof of value. Well, I did a lot, I am good - why I was not accepted. that is, you invested not just for yourself, but with a subconscious purpose making yourself as a future wife, i.e. investing your resources in yourself, but with the goal of being a worthy wife on all counts. Depression is the result of unfulfilled, but expected investments and actions, but they are not small to put it mildly)) ) so now you don’t want to do anything - "I have nothing distracting, not carrying away, there is no interest in life, there is a complete sense of worthlessness, helplessness and meaninglessness of life. "You" paid "a high price, but received a" product "for getting out. Hence, such high demands on the candidates - they should appreciate and take into account all your past costs.And here is another question - why and how do you relate personal achievements to relationships, how did this dependence form and how to separate your personal resources (achievements) from investing them in "cost", and into relationships, in which you podsoznat but require them (investments) to assess. Those.you need to free your expenses-investments from the meaningful meaning "worthy of love and acceptance", to keep them without reference to relationships. They are only yours and are not a bargaining chip. A relationship considered in its purest form. It is quite possible, judging by your determination and the already formed desire to understand - you can do it). If you have more questions - write to
Since you begin your story with a situation of love, I dare to assume that this relationship is not completed for you. You have done a lot of things and achieved in 5 years, perhaps you tried to cope with the feelings you faced when parting, or ran away from those feelings, or ran away from meeting with yourself ... On a date, go both to work and you are interested in men, but they are interesting for you, why do you need these dates, what do they give you? In the same men you see a bunch of flaws, but how do you treat your faults? And how can you accept the fact that YES, this dream of a family with this person will never be fulfilled, say goodbye to her. You know, they say, when some doors close, others open)
the past is worth accepting, for there is no, no, your will, but there is only a rejection of the will of God. Which you did not accept then and do not accept now, the principle of holo graphic. By not accepting the past, you cross out your future.
Man is first and foremost a soul, and you have problems with it, because the body is just a manifested part of the soul. The desire to have a relationship, and to create a family is correct, but it is worth the mean to want it, because it is not the goal of life, like all human. The problem is not the guys, the problem is with you, with your soul and with your desires, because you have them as the Eiffel Tower, but there must be a middle ground in your life. Skype igoradamovich-12, call tell you what's what.
There is a special practice of working out and rewriting painful, stressful situations into positive ones. I can help you. On I am in Kiev!
Can do dancing? In Moscow there is a dance school. You can see their Facebook page: Own school. Highly recommend. Checked on yourself! ))