How to stop being afraid of people on the street or at work?
Let's admit to ourselves that there is not a single person among us who would never have problems communicating with other people. Situations are different: we are embraced by uncertainty and panic anxiety before the upcoming speech, which will be listened to by a large audience, before an interview or passing an exam. Sometimes we cannot understand how to cope with this fear and how to stop being afraid of people, and peace comes only at the moment when the situation is left behind, and consequently, emotional experiences have passed. In most cases, being in a similar situation next time, a person will feel more confident and comfortable, because it is experience that creates confidence in a person and helps to part with the complexes.
However, this therapy does not help some people, and the fear of communication remains even after the straining situation has passed. They feel anxiety and fear almost constantly and sometimes they do not know how to stop being afraid of people and interact with them without any embarrassment.Such individuals are called social phobias, and the illness of which they became victims is social phobia.
This disease sometimes becomes a serious obstacle that hinders the full life of a person. It is difficult for him to get a job, make friends, find a loved one and create strong relationships, and in the long run a family. In stressful situations for themselves, a social phobia feels at the physical level its own illness: this is rapid heartbeat, and nausea, and redness. His hands may tremble, he may stutter. Such symptoms become the reason for the birth of new fears and the desire to avoid communicating with other people. Such a person limits his contacts with people to a minimum or rejects them altogether, since it seems to him that this is the right tactic of behavior. He is sure that he will never be able to learn how to stop being afraid of people on the street, and because of this, he is trying to avoid hiking outside his home. For him, a huge problem even go to the store for bread, not to mention other crowded places.
Most social phobias are trying to solve their problem with the help of alcohol in order to at least a little cope with their fear of communication, because they cannot get away from contact with other people.It seems that this will be the rest of his life, and nothing will change, however, fortunately, this is not so. In the case of persistent and patient work on yourself, you can achieve excellent results, and if you cannot say goodbye to social phobia forever, you will be able to deal a crushing blow to her and make sure that she does not control you, but you.
The process of struggle will become more productive if at the same time you try to change and harmonize your internal state, correct your behavior and develop communication skills in order to stop being afraid of people. The ideal option in this case would be the help of a good psychologist. But where should we start taking the first steps towards people?
Most people with social phobia have a negative mindset. All events taking place in the world, and this world itself, are perceived by them in a dark, pessimistic way. Perhaps the reason for this was the resentment and ridicule of peers carried in childhood. Maybe, being a child, a social phobia saw in other children of friends, everything seemed to be good, but then some situation in which the child was not guilty,became the reason that he became an outcast, closed from everyone, began to feel fear and did not know how to stop being afraid of people who called you, how to give them a fight and prove their strength.
A negative experience of this kind once created a strong association. Therefore, even if everything is fine, such a person does not believe in this good, is looking for a trick in it and is only waiting for the bad. Such a negative creates tension both in the soul of the person himself and in the soul of the people close to him. The first step to overcome the negative can be, for example, reading and practice with reference to books on positive psychology. Such studies instill optimism in a person and put correct and useful thoughts in his head. We must remember that the world is our mirror. If you smiled at the world, then he will certainly smile at you in return.
Getting used to imperfection
Very often they do not know how to stop being afraid of people, and consequently, to feel comfortable when dealing with them, people who are too demanding of themselves. Often they tend to exaggerate and hide their shortcomings, and their mistakes and mistakes inflate to the size of a universal catastrophe.They are afraid to look stupid in public, and the root of the problem may be that in childhood the parents inspired the child to be a model for others in everything. As an adult, he controls himself and puts protective barriers between himself and those around him.
Back to childhood
Frequently, the fear that a person is not accepted and disliked prevents him from fully revealing himself in communication. Therefore, he cannot step over himself and has no idea how to stop being afraid of people at work, for example, where he spends most of his time. This leads to the fact that further conversations that relate directly to the performance of official duties, it does not go. Here we should recall the style of communication of young children. They are not fearful, open and direct. They are sympathetic and interesting to their interlocutor, and they do not think that they may not like him. After all, the main thing for them is their desire for friendship, communication and team play. It is worth trying to feel like such a child, and contact with people will become much easier.
A good way to deal with fears is to keep a diary of observing them.You can recall the case from which communication problems began, relive this resentment situation, for example, when you could not answer and stand up for yourself. Forgive the offender and yourself for your behavior. Present the development of the situation, if it ended successfully. So work through other similar episodes.
It is worth remembering that you can not run away from fears, but you need to stop them. Concentration on the present, and not on what, maybe, will not happen, and calm measured breathing will help the fear to recede.
Erasing the right of way
Do not try to separate from the world and consider yourself a defective person, constantly thinking about what they will humiliate, laugh, and not understand. Fear of rejection makes one reject. You need to forget about your bias and remember that communication is the finding of common points of contact. All people are alike in something, and you need to stop being afraid to take the first step. Want to love? Love yourself!
Learning to relax
It is important to understand your body and your emotions and learn to manage them to calm yourself. Excellent tools will be yoga, breathing exercises, meditation, massage.Having mastered these ways of relaxation and having managed to cope with himself, a person will understand how to stop being afraid of people on the street, and will be able to come up without hesitation and ask about what time it is, for example.
Learning to communicate
In order to practice coping with their fears, experts recommend attending communication trainings. At such classes, people gather with almost the same problems and develop communication skills. Under the guidance of an experienced psychologist, modeling and discussion of various situations that seem alarming takes place. Constant practice reduces anxiety, and if such a situation occurs in real life, it will not cause such discomfort.
Set a goal and achieve it
Every day you should set yourself some tasks and try to achieve the desired results. Go to the stranger and ask about what time it is. Give someone a compliment on the way to work. Ask the seller in the store about the product you are interested in. Over time, you will learn how to stop being afraid of people, and you will be able to move to a new level. Do not forget to praise yourself for success and encourage, and at the same time it is strictly forbidden to rush and overdo it, trying to cope with your problem in one fell swoop.It is necessary to remember your successes and be fixed on them in order to fix in your consciousness the idea that you were able to do something regardless of your fears.
The most important thing is not to give up and believe that you will succeed in defeating social phobia and take a step towards this world and the people who live in it.