How to behave in the hands: useful recommendations. How to control yourself?
Every day people face a hugenumber of stressful situations. In order not to lose emotional balance, it is important to know how to behave in the hands. To prevent external stimuli from taking over, it is necessary to learn how to control emotions.
Why do people lose control of themselves
Serious problems, and sometimes even the mostminor difficulties, can lead a person out of himself and cause a real attack of anger and rage. In most cases, such emotionality is an inherent feature of temperament. Character - this is a stubborn thing, and therefore learn to self-control is difficult. Nevertheless, there are a number of reasons why an attack of aggression can sweep a person:
- Dissatisfaction with one's own life is not uncommonexpressed through aggression to others. Problems in the family, at work, unfulfilled desires ... As a result - the slightest irritant can cause a strong attack of anger. It makes no sense to resort to the advice of psychologists, until you change something in your life or attitude to the events.
- The cause of short temper and incontinence can sometimes become health problems. Feeling pain or any other discomfort, a person can not adequately react to what is happening.
- Often the cause of an emotional outbreak isprejudiced attitude towards the interlocutor. In order to cope with itself, it is enough to decide on a frank conversation that will help to eliminate all contradictions, disagreements and mutual claims.
- If a person has a low self-esteem, then an open confrontation is one of the ways to increase it. We can say that this is a kind of self-realization method.
In the event that incontinence and short temperThey prevent you from living normally, working and establishing relationships with others, it's time to ask yourself how to behave in the hands. The advice of professional psychologists will help you in this.
Anger is your main enemy
How to behave in the hands? First of all, learn not to succumb to anger. By allowing this state to take possession of you, you will completely lose control of the situation and will be completely in the sweetness of your opponent or the difficult situation that has knocked you out of the rut. Sometimes the interlocutor can consciously go on provocation.
To avoid emotions, you mustclearly realize that anger will only hurt you. Having succumbed to this emotion, you can tear up firewood, exposing yourself not in the best light. At the moment when feelings begin to overwhelm you, stop any contact with the irritant (whether it's a person or an object of work). Accumulated aggression is better to displace by physical exertion.
Need to be distracted
Long-term focus on the work problem orThe dispute does not help to find the right solution. On the contrary, you stop looking at the situation objectively. How to behave in this situation? Of course, distract and switch attention.
If it is a question of any work task,which you can not resist, leave it for a while without attention. Admire the view outside the window, take a coffee break, walk along the street. It is possible that by looking at the situation with a fresh look, you will find a solution much quicker.
If your dialogue with the interlocutor is graduallybegins to shift to higher tones, stop for a second and translate the topic abruptly. Pay attention to the opponent's unusual flower on the window, the weather or any other things that are absolutely not related to the subject of your conversation. This is a kind of element of surprise that will help relieve tension, and after a while continue constructive dialogue.
Do not stay alone with problems
If you do not know how to behave in the hands ofdifficult situation, try not to solve your problems alone. To prevent emotions from taking possession of yourself, pour out a soul to someone, sharing your difficulties. If it is a question of a dispute, you should not be alone with the opponent. Alternatively, it is possible to involve the disinterested person in solving the problem. So you get an objective opinion and will keep yourself within the bounds of decency.
Control your thoughts
If you do not know how best to keep yourself inhands, learn to keep your thoughts under control. They largely determine your internal state and behavior. As soon as you feel negative thoughts seize you, focus and try to channel them into an optimistic channel.
Most often the negative takes hold of a person beforethe beginning of a new business or an important conversation. The most negative scenarios of events unfold in my head. Do not let such thoughts take over. Tune in to a positive outcome, imagine yourself a winner. Then no external influences can get you out of yourself.
Perhaps everyone is interested in how to keep themselves inhands. Tips for a deep breath at first glance may seem ridiculous. Nevertheless, this technique really works. Collect as much air as possible into the lungs until the breathing again becomes even and measured. The influx of oxygen to the brain will intensify, and you'll have a more sober look at the situation.
Count to 10
If you want to learn how to control andkeep yourself in hand, consult the advice of the wise. They argued that before you do or say something important, you should slowly count to 10 in your mind. During this time, your ardor will cool down a bit, and the situation will appear in a completely different light. It is possible that such a technique will save you from incorrect action or imprudently pronounced offensive words.
Look at your behavior from the outside
Probably, everyone had to become involuntarywitness quarrels or other unpleasant scenes. Despite the fact that many carelessly relate to such situations, they are able to teach us a lot. How? Learn to behave in the hands of a person who will carry out a mental analysis: who is right, who is to blame, how worth to behave in the place of the disputants.
If you feel that the confrontation with thethe opponent goes into a destructive phase, imagine that there are many people around you. Become one of these people for a second and look at yourself. Is your conduct fair? Are not you ashamed of yourself? Answering these questions, you will be able to adjust the tactics of the dispute and adequately exit the conflict situation.
Do not rush to answer
Conflicts do not always ariseby themselves. Sometimes an opponent can deliberately provoke your outburst of anger to achieve your personal goals. If you often encounter such situations, you just need to know how you can keep yourself in hand.
The main rule - do not rush to answerprovocation. The most correct decision is to shorten the conversation with a short phrase (naturally, without sinking to rudeness or insult) or at all to remain silent. Even if you really want to say something in response, do not allow yourself this. In a couple of minutes you will realize that you did absolutely right.
Respect the interlocutor
Unfortunately, many people lose control overonly because they consider their opinion to be the only correct one. Nevertheless, your opponent has the same right to his point of view. An outsider's opinion should not be an excuse for irritation, but for a rethinking of the current situation. Remember that if you tend to lose your temper with the slightest deviation from the plan you planned, it does not mean that people around you are not like that. Learn to respect the interlocutor and seek compromises, because a normal dispute can develop into a serious conflict.
Look in the Mirror
Negative emotions significantly distort the appearanceman, and therefore even more relevant is the question of how to behave in the hands. Recommendations of specialists are to look at yourself in the mirror whenever you are seized by negative emotions. Of course, it would be foolish to do this on the street, but it is quite possible at home or in the office. Be sure that when you see your own face, distorted by an angry grimace, you immediately want to calm down and regain its former appearance.
Enter the penal system
Each child was punished for his faults,disobedience and pranks. Of course, no one will dare to put an adult person in a corner, and therefore it is worthwhile to introduce a system of penalties for oneself. If, having succumbed to emotions, you entered into a squabble with someone, shouted at the interlocutor, burst into tears after the chief's remark, by all means punish yourself, refusing any pleasure. It can be a rejection of a favorite treat, watching a TV show, going shopping, and the like. Thus, you will have an incentive to self-control.
Learn to give in
Ability to defend their interests, of course,very valuable. Nevertheless, during a dispute, stressful situations can occur that often lead to loss of self-control. Think, is it really important for you to win a dispute? If this is just a matter of principle, it is better to retreat, retaining the face and nerve cells.
How to behave in the hands: advice of a psychologist
Ability to control one's actions and thoughtspriceless, because self-control is one of the main weapons in achieving goals. If you want to be a successful person, find out how to keep yourself in hand. The advice of a psychologist will guide you along the right path. Pay attention to the following points:
- Do not try to suppress emotions. This negatively affects both the mental and physical state. Self-control is an art that needs to be learned gradually.
- Learn to be self-possessed by others. If a person is calm and balanced, this does not mean that he does not have problems and troubles. Try to observe it, having studied its receptions of reaction to stressful situations.
- Do not be ashamed of your emotionality, because every person since birth is endowed with a certain temperament. Treat it as a characteristic that can be corrected.
- Simply look at life and the problems that accompany it. Sometimes it is worth putting on "rose-colored glasses" that will help you to ward off stress.
How to behave in the hands: get skills
Self-control is a feature of strong and successfulpeople who easily overcome obstacles to the goal. Nevertheless, not everyone knows how to behave in the hands. Skills are developed over a long period of time. To do this, you must follow these guidelines:
- Analyze your behavior. Each evening, describe your emotions and behavior in certain situations. So you can look at your mistakes from the side to avoid them in the future.
- Be prepared for stressful situations. Before any event or meeting, consider possible difficulties. Try to work out a scenario of reaction to them.
- Learn to awaken in yourself positive emotions. As soon as you begin to overwhelm the negative, start thinking about something nice and beautiful.
- If your nerves are tense, try to surround yourself with a positive. Do not look sad movies, do not look bad news, do not read books with a heavy plot.
Inability to control oneself, excessivequick temper and touchiness - this is a serious problem that prevents living, working and enjoying the world around us. If every little thing in the conversation or deviation from the planned plan of action leads you into a rage, then it's time to think about how to seek help from a psychologist. He will certainly give you valuable recommendations for self-monitoring, and also recommend sedatives that will make you less susceptible to external stimuli.