How can I love?
The good half of humanity suffers fromunrequited love and actively struggles with this feeling in all possible ways, while some sincerely envy them, seeking to find love. But, as the great Shakespeare used to say, "Love runs away from those who are after it / And those who run away, rushes to the neck ..." Therefore, often such people come to the false conclusion that they are not created for true love or simply not capable of it. Can you learn how to love, and is it really necessary?
Why it is necessary to love?
When you see how a friend unsuccessfully seeksthe love of a guy who does not care about her, how her neighbor is affected, how her husband cheats, how a fellow student is suffering in the hope of forgetting her former girlfriend, there are doubts: is this love in general necessary? And, perhaps, a person in the depths of his heart just rejoices that he sleeps peacefully at night, devoid of such problems.
However, it is not for nothing that they say that love is the basiseverything in the world, and without it, existence does not make sense. And even if today you have stronger nerves and clear thoughts, sooner or later many people need a serious relationship. And they have no future without love and true affection. Even if you have to wait for a loved one at three nights and experience more than ever in life, you will still be happy that you have it. When you experience a real feeling, you are unlikely to change it for a lonesome, restful sleep.
In addition, who does not agree that the family withoutlove - inferior? After all, children should be fostered by loving parents. It depends on this, who will grow a child and what kind of family will create himself, as well as his future attitude towards you. A family where mother and father love each other, their children and parents is the best role model that a child needs.
It should be noted and more global love - tothe world and to people in general. You expect reciprocity from them, you require recognition and sympathy, but for this you need to experience these feelings yourself. After all, we all need to give love, in order to deserve the right to receive it.
How to learn love?
It is in vain to constantly ask yourself the question: "How can I love?" And come to the conclusion that you are not capable of this feeling. The ability to love and show our feelings is inherent in nature, so that everyone has the potential. Simply, some of us suppress it for various reasons, while others simply are afraid of strong and new sensations.
Perhaps the best tool is the "situation on theyourself ": continuously give people what you expect from them. And you expect love from parents and children, relatives, friends and, of course, the other half. Love and affection are not a one-way movement, they require reciprocity, otherwise the relationship is threatened with collapse.
Next step: get rid of complexes that prevent you from loving. If you are very worried about the inability to experience such feelings, this is a serious reason to turn to a psychologist. Such a vital attitude, more often than not, is a psychological trauma to childhood, which is rarely discovered by individuals. Another reason may be "unsuccessful love" in the past: a person so diligently tries not to repeat past mistakes that he begins to avoid any opportunity to fall in love.
Try to understand that love is not alwaysturns into a tragedy and is accompanied by suffering. If you are not lucky once or even several times, this does not mean that without love you will be happy. Do not draw conclusions about new relationships based on old ones. Your experience, of course, will help you avoid past mistakes, but at the same time do not lose faith in people, they are all different.
What love to love?
Naturally, each of us understands this feeling in his own way, giving him a subjective assessment. Even in Ancient Greece, love was divided into four main types:
So, Eros is a spontaneous passion-love,which, as a rule, controls a person at first acquaintance with the object of love. Filia is a love-friendship, more inherent in social relations. Storgue is a tender form of love in the family, and agape is considered the highest degree of manifestation of this feeling, it is selfless, disinterested love, such as God's love for people.
Undoubtedly, one form of love for a person is veryfew. But when he realizes the whole charm of this feeling, he is able to go through all these stages and find true happiness. Love yourself, your loved ones and the whole world; only then they will answer you the same!