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The eternal problem of fathers and children. Fathers are not in demand and not implemented, children are not raised and are not loved.


How often have you been around? And when you were there, we didn’t know what to do with each other.The ancient Greeks believed that if a child has no father, then he has no right to exist, because he is nobody.In the literal sense, this means that, for example, a man could not add the phrase “the son of something” after his name. So it turned out thathe has no name, and therefore no one.This is most vividly described in Homer's eternal work Iliad, when Hector's wife tells him that if he dies, his newborn son will also die with him, because he won't have a father. From the metaphorical meaning of this phrase to the practical realization in reality, just one glance, filled with sadness.


Once Nietzsche said: "Whoever does not have a father, he must find him for himself." Where I just did not look for him. At one time it seemed to me that it was a gray-haired and experienced powerlifting trainer in the gym. The time passed, I received part of my father's from the coach and went on. There were other men in whom I tried to look at the father that I imagined.


Looking for a father is not easy, especially when he is alive, and you know exactly who he is.


A very persistent cognitive dissonance arises in the head. The image of the father falls apart, and I try to collect fragments of this image in different people. In the coach - strength and severity, in the head-academician - authority and intelligence, in the psychotherapist - acceptance and love, in the friend - openness and equality, in God - self-image. After so many years of gathering, I can say with confidence, for myself, I realized that the father I want was not in my life, no, and not ... . Those images that I collected, formed inside me my inner father, who became for me who I want to be myself ?!

The cult of the father in ancient Greece and the subsequent patriarchy (visible but not obvious) gave us many interesting thoughts (naturally, the leader in this, Aristotle), which shed light on the current culture of father-child.


According to the ancients,the father is the creator, in terms of the family, the father is primarily a carrier of culture.

The role of the mother was obvious, but this is not deprived of its overvaluedness, it is carrying and feeding, but the father gave the child a soul in the cultural context of the word.He taught to be.To build and build, to fight and win, to be wise in choosing, to leave in order to return - this is all transmitted to us from the father.Teach, that's what a father does. To teach by example, this is what a wise father does. With such a father, a riot against him is impossible.

Interestingly, in songbirds, the function of singing is not laid down genetically, it is produced in the process of growth of chicks, and this function of training is performed by the father bird.

The thought of ancient Greece impresses me a lot, it has what I’m looking for and what I’m missing, I find an explanation for myself in it.

Modernity poses a big challenge to gender stereotypes. Socio-cultural revolutions leave behind themselves deep abysses in the earth (in mother ???), into which millions of men fall, without becoming fathers.

The struggle for power and the struggle in society as a whole has mutated and acquired the features of femininity (or is it a shield that covers hypertrophied masculinity).

The modern father, like the mythical Hector, walks in armor. This armor has long ceased to shine with bronze or silver, they began to reflect the glare in lacquered shoes and sunglasses.About this armor no longer reflected enemies, they can only see their reflection.But, like Hector,the modern man needs to remove his armor, take off his helmet in order to hug and kiss the child.


The fear of being defeated by enemies (in the melee always hits the one who is closer) makes a man constantly walk in armor. Hugging and kissing her is extremely hard, sometimes even impossible.Armor is another frontier on the way to communicating and understanding who stands before you.Sometimes it is impossible to remove the armor on its own and Sancho Panza is needed for full personal service (Ortega-i-Gasset is a must-read before using the squire and fighting windmills).

This has been going on for a very long time, so long that it starts to seem like it should be.

The eternal problem of fathers and children.


Fathers are not in demand and not implemented, children are not raised and are not loved.


Everything is spinning and spinning () around these relationships and for their correction there is neither strength, nor time, nor desire.

Sons grow up as independent as their fathers. Independent, because they themselves. Alone. No name.

They put on their father's armor, passing it off in their own eyes, and enter the world with the firm belief that they will become better.In other people's worn armor ?! Ha!! The fight against windmills continues, the witch hunt (after all, they are to blame for everything!) In full swing.

Sons, daughters.

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