Character of the obstinate is the way to nowhere
While in society, you can often hear the common phrase: “He has an obstinate character!” Meanwhile, few people know what this concept really means. This article is intended to explain the essence of obstinacy, interprets the reasons for its formation in a person and gives simple recommendations on how to overcome this quality of character. If there is such a person in your family, then now you will know how to deal with him so as not to fall into awkward and unpleasant situations.
What is obstinacy?
If we turn to the explanatory dictionary, then this concept is synonymous with stubbornness and self-will. However, the obstinate is not always the one who knows how to insist on his own; rather, he is distinguished by heightened aggressiveness towards the people around him. Such a person wants his family and friends to notice his individuality, take into account his needs and fulfill all his wishes.
In fact, the obstinate person is always an egoist, since he aspires, first of all, to satisfy his own needs.Maybe in some moments of his life he is able to think about others, but only in the case when his interests come into contact with the desires of others.
Shyness is not just stubbornness. What is it expressed in? A person can defend his point of view, even if he sees the fallacy of his own conclusions. It is extremely difficult for him to admit that he is wrong. Sometimes a comical situation is created: the person continues to put forward new arguments against the opinions of others and becomes confused in judgments. However, such a person is not so important what it is to say, how much to whom and in what expressions. This is a weak personality, for which it is completely unacceptable to show your human qualities. Almost always this person is inclined to subordinate to the will of others. If he becomes a leader, then he imposes his vision of life on his subordinates and exploits them mercilessly.
Causes of Formation
A stubborn character is necessarily the result of improper upbringing. If in childhood everything is allowed to the child, the dreams are immediately fulfilled, as soon as he has time to voice them, then soon parents should wait for the development of such qualities in their children,as a negativity towards everything that contradicts his desires, the extreme degree of stubbornness, arrogance, boasting, the desire to demonstrate superiority over others. Such a child subsequently does not know how to adequately communicate with other children, begins to offend them. It is hardly worth proving that he has few friends or they are completely absent. Obstinate - it means aimed at his ego, noticing only himself.
Sometimes a child's character deteriorates as a result of the fact that his wishes are not noticed by his parents. So the child tries unsuccessfully to attract the attention of various kinds of antics: out of harm, she sheds milk on the table, refuses to go to bed at the appointed hour, calls her bad words and says nasty things to adults and peers.
Inability to interact with others
Have you ever thought about why an obstinate person is in most cases a problem for others? After all, no one sees himself. The reaction of those who are nearby, gives a person the opposite effect. It turns out that an overly stubborn person really needs “spectators”, an audience that would appreciate its difficult individuality.
Thus, the person asks for help, but in what way? She clearly lacks communication, valid recognition of her abilities and talents, only she does this, deliberately pushing people away from herself. It turns out a very tangled and painful chain of actions.
He always wants to have exceptional power. With him almost impossible to negotiate. Sometimes in a conversation one feels how he wants to crush you with his imaginary rightness, it’s useless to argue with him. Such people look at others from the top down and do not recognize any position. When they are emotionally ill, they break anger at those who are near at the moment.
Why is a wayward woman almost always doomed to loneliness?
You can often hear that this or that lady is obstinate. What is this? Is she necessarily a bitchy person? Not at all. The obstinate woman is, first of all, a “wrecker” to herself: she does not understand that with her actions and actions she destroys relations with people close and dear to her heart.
In addition, she almost always seeks authoritarian leadership. This applies to both the family budget and relationships with men.And the representative of the stronger sex rarely may like such treatment. Not finding understanding in the marital relationship, such a woman risks being left alone.
How to learn to be more tolerant?
The obstinate person is always a hidden trouble. If you look into the situation, it turns out that he himself needs the help and attention of loved ones. The following tips will be useful both to those in whose environment there is an excessively stubborn person, and to individuals who are to some degree or another suffer from a complex nature.
1. Do not try to solve the situation by force. No need to defiantly turn away, respond rudely to the question of the opponent. Be tactful and delicate. Just imagine how hard it is for your partner.
2. Work on improving your own character. No matter how you are treated, you can always influence the situation. Analyze your motives and actions: perhaps you do not always act correctly and honestly.
It should be noted that the obstinate person is a slave of his own emotions, he hurts himself and others. To conquer extreme selfishness, one needs to be sincere.